Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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