You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
