is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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