Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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