6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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