Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
