yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
