This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
