she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize