All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
