Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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