all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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