ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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