White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
