What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
