Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
