fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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