If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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