I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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