so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
