she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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