We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize