They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
