I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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