roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The struggles of a small town man whore
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
