WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
