Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
