I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
