I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
