i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
