Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
