Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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