I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
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