you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize