why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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