oh god the rape fog is back!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We are all done wearing pants today
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
