I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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