if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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