You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize