Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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