these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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