It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
