I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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