): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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