She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
