Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
