put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
