I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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