I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
