This is not my ceiling
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
