I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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