I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
