You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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