Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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