Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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