I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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