Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
