i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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