They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
