Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
