her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
