My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
