At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
