went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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