***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
